She's Growing Up: A Lesson in the 9th Commandment

Normally  I would do a "growing up" post on Lallie's birthday (which was July 30th), but last night we hit a milestone.  Well, "milestone" wouldn't exactly be the right word for this.

Last night, this sweet little innocent face.....

....lost the innocence and the first of I'm sure many, lies has begun.

She had been testing for a few weeks with little fibs here and there, sometimes I will admit, they were cute little fibs.  Even then, she's been told that lying is not good or truthful and it hurts mommy and daddy, disappointing us.  You know, all the typical things you would tell a young child when they start experimenting with lying.

Well, last night, during bath, Lallie repeatedly lied to me about something (I won't go into here, but about another minor issue we're having at home).  When she tried to hide the evidence and I called her out, she looked me in the eyes with a big smile, shaking her behind at me and said (in the na-na-na-na-na song)....

"I didn't tell the truth."

And at that moment, Husband and I knew that our parenting just stepped up yet another notch (or multiple notches if you will).

First there were the loud voices and the crying.  "We are very disappointed.  Lying will not be tolerated in this house."  And Lallie's privilege of three books before bed were taken away.

Lallie understood too.  You could see it in her eyes and in her quivering, crying voice as she cried "I won't do it again, I promise, I'm sorry."  Goodness knows, we wanted to give in and just say "OK, but NEXT time, there will be no books."

But in the interest of trying to be the best parents we could be and make a point, we stuck to our guns and she went to bed without books.  To Lallie, this is worse than losing TV privileges, or not getting to swim in the pool.  Not being read to is even worse then not getting ice cream for eating all her dinner.  Reading before bed is her absolute favorite thing to do, so we knew we were in for a tough night.

But, she did calm down. 

Lallie is really good at controlling herself when we get face-to-face and calmly tell her to stop crying (most of the time).  Yes, she wimpers and she gets that unbearable (and sometimes cute) frown, where her chin pits up, but she does stop crying (especially when she knows she's in the wrong).

We took her in her room and had Lallie's first lesson in the Ten Commandments....specifically Though Shall Not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor or easier explained to a toddler.....Though Shall Not Lie.

We explained that God's rules are even MORE important than mommy and daddy's rules and that lying not only hurts our hearts, but it heart's God and Jesus' heart even more.

She asked a few questions we hadn't had to explain in prior conversations.

"What does God look like?  Does He have eyes?"  (I explained in toddler terms that He is in our likeness).

"Where is heaven?"  And when I explained that it's up in the sky and we can't see it, she asked "But, if I can't see it, how do I know it's there?"

We explained that you can't see God, but He lives in our hearts every single day and He knows us and everything we do, He is watching our every move.  He is in our minds too, helping us to make the right choices such as telling the truth.

To make it even easier, we explained that no matter what, there is never any need to be embarrassed or sad about something where she feels the need to lie.  Sometimes we might be a little disappointed, but never as disappointed as we might be if she lied. 

And of course, we will always love her, no matter what and God and Jesus certainly love her too.

She still had questions but we calmly said "We know it's hard to understand, it is complex for a little girl, but just know that God loves you, that's all you need to know right now."  (We'll get to Satan and the dying on the cross parts a little later).

Lallie understood and after a little cuddling and saying of prayers and a little fun conversation, she calmly went to sleep without any tears.

We consider the lack of tears after our conversation, a job well done in one of the first extremely serious conversation we've ever had to have with Lallie.

It certainly wasn't an easy conversation, but all-in-all, we think we handled it well (especially for me, as I tend to get quite emotional in situations like this.....I kept my cool and thought that this is about her, not about me).  It may not have been the way other parents would have handled this situation, but it works for us and more importantly, for our ideals.  While it's not a happy conversation, it is something she is going to have to face for the rest of her life.  And therefore, we can only try to be the best parents we can be, to lead her in the right path and know that no matter what..... Jesus died on the cross to forgive her (and all of us) of the very sins in which she's been so innocent in her short years.  And for that, we can give NOTHING but thanks and praise! 

Have a blessed day Y'all!

40 Days of Lent - My Lofty Goals

If you follow me on twitter, you know that I have a very lofty goal for what I'm giving up for Lent.  I suspect that I will fail, after all, I am a sinner, but not without lack of trying.  The point is not to give up something that's easy, like brussel sprouts or cleaning!  The point is to give up something that has some sort of meaning in your life.  But, I'm going to take it a step further.  I'm going to START doing something that I've been avoiding for quite some time.  As they say, "walk the walk, don't talk the talk."

I've never taken Lent seriously before.  Never.  It's always been kind of a joke to me, like New Year's Resolutions.  However, this year will be different.

(1) I'm giving up: negativity.  Of course, this is a general term and it's near impossible to give it up completely if you really think about it, so I'm getting a little more specific.

• I'm going to try to quit complaining about such mundane things in life such as a sock getting lost in the laundry, the dog licking my good pants as I walk out the door to work, Lallie throwing a screaming fit because she didn't get what she wants AND, the weather (after all, even though it's 40 this morning in Florida, really, can I compare at ALL to those up north right now? I think not!)
• I'm going to quit letting a specific co-worker get to me with her miserable ways.  It's not worth it. I know I do my job, I do it well and my boss and I have spoken that all is well.  So, it's over, just let her be miserable and quit trying to defend myself against her when I have nothing to defend.
• Lastly, I am NOT going to be liked by all.  I am a HUGE people person.  I would talk to a rock if it would talk back to me. And I've had issues with this since I was a kid, mainly because I was a nerd in grammar and high school.  So ever since, I've struggled to be liked by all I meet.  It's just not possible.  So, I'm going to quit trying to understand why certain people don't like me and get over it.  After all, it's their loss, not mine.

(2) I'm giving up shopping.  There are my own personal reasons for this. So, I'm following along with some twitter friends and will stop shopping.  This means for the unnecessary things.  Do I really need that smellicious candle? Do I really need that adorable shirt or shoes?  This does exclude Lallie however, as she is going to need new school clothes in the next few weeks as it warms up.  And, she's started to gain weight and quickly grow out of her older clothes.  (Drat, my one out! :-)

Now, onto the thing that I'm going to START.  I'm going to start reading the Bible a little a day, and meditate.  I need to find a good study, hopefully geared towards a full-time working mommy and wife.  This is going to be difficult.  Let me tell you.

Last night, it's Fat Tuesday, Lent hasn't even started yet and I've already given myself an excuse as to why I shouldn't start yet.  After all, I do have to finish the current book I'm reading and can't put down, right? WRONG!  (By the way, Firefly Lane is excellent)

Why is this so difficult for me?  What do I have to be afraid of?  Maybe my thoughts that I won't understand or won't know how to apply it to life?  I don't know, but what do I have to lose?  I love to read, I've read almost 8 books since January 1st.  This should not be difficult.  I am determined to start this evening.  I read every night before I go to bed.  Today is the day.  (I'll let you know how I did tomorrow).

So, that's it.  My lofty goals for Lent.  These are truly going to be very hard for me. But I'm determined.  I've always struggled in my walk with the Lord.  I'm in a better position now than I was 10 years ago, but still, there are things I can still do to improve my personal relationship.  Lent is the perfect time to start.

What about you?  What are giving up for Lent?  Are you giving it up for the right reasons?

Think about it.

Thanking God For Every Day!

I am not a preacher, but I am a Child of God and last night, after hearing of some news, I couldn't sleep and had these thoughts racing through my mind.  I've never really posted about faith on my blog before, but there's a first for everything, right?  Little anxious, but need to get off my chest and plan on trying to live in faith better in the future.

Last evening, one of our fellow blog/twitter friends was in a car wreck, hit by a drunk driver.  Thank God she is fine and walked away relatively unscathed.  (Psalms 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.) 

The first thing I thought of when I heard the news is that, life is short, we should appreciate it more, and thank God for every single solitary little blessing in our lives.

We don't know when or how our God will take us from this earth to live in heaven with him.  But until that time, we are commanded to love and serve one another, to serve the will of God and to forgive our trespassers.  So, as I thank God for our friend's safety and that her adorable children and husband still have her in their lives, we also must forgive the trasspasser who caused this in the first place.(John 4:7 Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.)

Think of it as a wake up call.  So, not only this day, but every day, say a prayer, thank God for your blessings, no matter how big or small.  Thank God for those in your life, without them, you wouldn't be the person you are today (yes, even those you may not care so much for, they are still God's children). I can't tell you what to thank God for, that's between you and him, but you know what I mean.  (1 Thessalonians 5:18 Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.)

I definately should heed my own advice.  I don't talk to God nearly as often as I should, I take my time with my family for granted a lot of the time and I let little things stress me and cause rifts when they are quite simply, little things.  "Don't sweat the small stuff" as the popular statement goes.

In addition, I love to read, but why haven't I sat down and read my Bible?  Quite frankly, I think it's a little bit of fear, a little bit of anxiety, a little bit of excitement.  Adding that to my list of things to do.  We are to live by the word of God, but how can one do so if they haven't even read the word?  Don't get me wrong, I have read it, but I don't READ it, if you catch my drift.  I need to meditate and live by it more. (Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And he shall direct your paths.)  (Ecclesiastes 1:14a To fear the Lord is the beginning of freedom.)

So, even though our friend was in an unfortunate accident and I would NEVER wish this upon anyone, it has opened my eyes, and I'm 100% sure it has opened hers even wider. 

So, 2010 list of things to do- updated:

1) Read Bible, mediate and improve my relationship with God

2) Spend more time WITH my family and not just with my family.

3) After that, everything else will fall into place.

Love and Blessings!!